My deepest feelings I do not allow

no longer, not anymore,

a moment only, a little before

leaving the house,

in the darkened room my daughter

asleep and 'Goodnight' said softly

for now I must go

and my son smiling at the door

waves to me


How strangely this house returns

my children, the years

and the warmth of my hearth

Perhaps all that's been never was

and no parting no chasm between

Sometimes inside me

wells up serene

the home that I lost

of necessity questing yet

losing my anchoring theme.


I do not want

to recognise this loss nor see

the damaged heart in me

I wonder sometimes what can fill

the unfilled years

struggling to connect, keep contact,

my dear ones not guiltily

but free in the stream of summer

as if in some lamplit street

under moons magic

time slips by

and I bemoan

heart silenced

alone yet not alone.


Daughter sleeping in another street

son smiles as yet again

I drive away - too old now

to hear this secretly sobbing heart

They are important


8 November 1978