My deepest feelings I do not allow
no longer, not anymore,
a moment only, a little before
leaving the house,
in the darkened room my daughter
asleep and 'Goodnight' said softly
for now I must go
and my son smiling at the door
waves to me
How strangely this house returns
my children, the years
and the warmth of my hearth
Perhaps all that's been never was
and no parting no chasm between
Sometimes inside me
wells up serene
the home that I lost
of necessity questing yet
losing my anchoring theme.
I do not want
to recognise this loss nor see
the damaged heart in me
I wonder sometimes what can fill
the unfilled years
struggling to connect, keep contact,
my dear ones not guiltily
but free in the stream of summer
as if in some lamplit street
under moons magic
time slips by
and I bemoan
heart silenced
alone yet not alone.
Daughter sleeping in another street
son smiles as yet again
I drive away - too old now
to hear this secretly sobbing heart
They are important
children
8 November 1978